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Sketch: The New Fragrance

                                    ANNOUNCER
Meet George.

                                   GEORGE
Hello.

                                   ANNOUNCER
George is a nerd.

                                   GEORGE
Yes, I am.

                                   ANNOUNCER
A geek.

                                   GEORGE
Yes.

                                   ANNOUNCER
A freak.

                                   GEORGE
Okay.  I - I - I think that’s enough.

                                   ANNOUNCER
George is terrible with the ladies.

                                   GEORGE
I do have a problem with the ladies.

                                   ANNOUNCER
They find him repellant.

                                   GEORGE
Sometimes, yes.

                                   ANNOUNCER
Often times, they refer to him as “creepy.”

                                   GEORGE
Can you believe it?

                                   ANNOUNCER
George is a total waste of human flesh.

                                   GEORGE
Alright, guy.  That’s enough.

                                   ANNOUNCER
That was before George discovered the new fragrance by Chalkskin: CASH!  Now George smells like money, which women find extremely attractive.  Now George is cool.  

                                   GEORGE
Yeah.

                                   SEXY LADY
Mmm.  You smell good.

                                   ANNOUNCER
Smooth.

                                   GEORGE
Aw yeah.

                                   SEXY LADY
I love the smell of money.

                                   ANNOUNCER
Absolutely irresistible.

                                   GEORGE
That be true.

                                   SEXY LADY
Oh, Georgie Worgie!

                                   ANNOUNCER
George doesn’t even need to try with the ladies anymore.

                                   GEORGE
Don’t even need to wear a forty million dollar suit.

                                   SEXY LADY
You remind me of George Washington.

                                   ANNOUNCER
They find him irresistible.

                                   GEORGE
I’m a magnet, fool.

                                   SEXY LADY
Ooh!  Just make it rain.

                                   ANNOUNCER
They want him so bad.

                                   GEORGE
It’s all up in this.

                                   SEXY LADY
Is that a wad of money in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

                                   ANNOUNCER
George is a god.

                                   GEORGE
Smell me.

                                   SEXY LADY
Ooh.  That’s a big roll of quarters.

                                   ANNOUNCER
Cash.  The new fragrance by Chalkskin.

                                   GEORGE
I’m green, girl.

                                   SEXY LADY
I heard it’s not easy being green.  I can make it easier for you.

                                   LEGAL
Side effects may include:
           Hardened nipples
           More attractive to opposite sex among your family
           Monogamy
           Street credibility
           More sensitive taste buds
           Warts
           Nails falling out
           Gender confusion
           Mouse ears
           Swelling of the tear ducts
           Leprosy
           Gangrene
           Ability to talk to fish
           Bleeding from the ears
           Bleeding from the eyes
           Bleeding from the sweat glands
           Distended esophagus
           Psychic migraines
           Endless reincarnation
           Stigmata
           Acid reflux
           Double jointedness
           Spontaneous combustion
           Lupus
           Increased sensitivity in the sphincters
           Increased sensitivity to changes in light, temperature, and barometric pressure
           Unexplained body piercings
           Hangover
           Rolling blackouts
           Narcolepsy
           Epilepsy
           Diet Pepsi
           Refusal to take the red pill
           Deep seeded love for neckerchiefs
           Overwhelming desire to find out who the real killer is
           Hammer toe
           Hammer time
           Hammer head
           Arm & Hammer
           And. . .
           Extra chakras

                                   ANNOUNCER
Cash!

                                   GEORGE
Get on me now.

                                   DJ POP’N’FRESH
Pop’N’Fresh approved!



Written by: Sheepdog David Grant, Stella Ingram, Kariem Marbury, Jesse Dillon Sorrells
Recorded by: Hunter Bressan for West-One Productions
Edited by: Sheepdog David Grant
Music by: MC Chalkskin
Announcer: Sheepdog David Grant
George: Kariem Marbury
Sexy Lady: Stella Ingram
Legal: Jesse Dillon Sorrells

Copyright 2012 for all content from "PayDay."

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